The Saga of Karbuncus (Part III)

The Interview: (excerpted from a live SABC recording)

The scene is set. Karbuncus's timeous arrival for the interview as prospective SABC1 newsreader and stand-in anchor man is marred by a slight administration error on the SABC's part: they thought Karbuncus was BLACK. Nevertheless the interview proceeds forthwith, conducted by the up-and-coming Sowetan DJ and radio/TV personality, Missie Jules Mthetwa, popularly known by trendy Sowetan socialites and various A-A spend-like-there's-no-two-tomorrows as "DJ Makwerriekoek-koek" - and we, the editorial board at Marwinsing's artwork ‘n stuff were privy to authentic snippets gleaned from the original studio recording. Here are a few salient pieces from the Karbuncus/Missie Jules recording:

Missie Jules: are you a hater?

Karbuncus: yes.

Missie Jules: why?

Karbuncus: because you are, hating is a privilege you and your kind have already been granted for some time but for me it is one that I must fight for, that's why.

Missie Jules: oh - carry on...

Karbuncus: ...okay I'll continue with a question for you, Missie Jules: how many children do you have?

Missie Jules: My gosh, I wasn't expecting that?! Uhm... lemme see... ah I've had two from my recent boyfriend, then when I was at Soweto High School Tokyo Sexwale's nephew (who Tokyo’s never met) knocked me up with three, and in Primary I had my first pregnancy - twins - didn't know who the father was but... let's see...

Karbuncus: See? That's racial hatred! - you drop baby-bombs.

Missie Jules: ...and then... I dunno, seven or eight or nine lil' niglets I guess... I guess I'll have to check with my older sissie, she's kept a few of them but I don't know if they're still around, you know... with AIDS and all that stuff?

Karbuncus: Okay, fine, I'll accept that - but do you get my point?

Missie Jules: Whaa-a? You mean… you mean you want me to give you a (<--cut/cut-->) live on set???

Karbuncus: No, please! Please don't misinterpret my metaphoric meanderings for Soweto jive-talk! - what I meant WAS...

(to be continued)